Currently: January 2022
I am always surprised when I do these entries because that means another month is done and hello, 2022, you’re going by incredibly fast. It was a pretty intense month but somehow, we’ve made it to the end and a new moon upcoming, too. Looking back on photos, it’s nice to see the first 31 days of January had smiles for me.
Loving
Everyone and their mothers are playing Wordle and I’m always down for a word game. I won’t go into an exposition of what it makes it great, because there have been ten million think pieces on it. I like that I’m able to stay in touch with friends and siblings who play on a daily basis if only to share how difficult it was or how I almost didn’t get it. And yes, there are a bazillion spin offs too, but it’s been a moment of good in this pandemic. I’ll take it.
Knowing my siblings and I have each others backs. When we found out that both my parents and one of our helpers had COVID-19. It was a pretty jarring experience. Sure, everyone was vaccinated twice, but everyone is above 60 and my anxious self spiraled into terrible scenarios. Luckily, Ate Let was ok and so was Pietro, who was home from the US for a wedding! The siblings really kept it together, checking in on everyone and just sharing this common worry. I’m so incredibly lucky. PS. everyone is ok now.
Little moments like reading on the beach on a sunny Saturday morning, or figuring out a piece of Python code by myself in the darkness of my desk, or discovering a new park to walk in Singapore. This month was a pretty heavy month, but there were moments of levity and I’m glad that I experienced these little wins. It’s so important for me to remind myself to be grateful for these moments.
Working On
Making sense of my diagnosis. I’ll get into it some other time, but I finally got the official diagnosis that I have adult autism spectrum (alongside some pretty severe generalized anxiety disorder and mild depression) — I feel the same but also like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders as cliche as that sounds. I’m glad I have the privilege of getting help for it. I know it’ll take time, and it’ll be lifelong but it’s good to just know.
Getting used to my new role, kind of. I’m still in the same team, still with the same boss but with a slight change in scope and I feel like the biggest idiot. I’m trying to learn as quickly as I can but I’m definitely feeling impostor syndrome. I’m glad I have the support I have. Change is hard but after 4+ years doing the same scope, I thought it would be good to learn again. I just forgot all the insecurity I feel when I’m not 200% doing something well.
Anticipating
My birthday month. I know, am I the kind of person that celebrates my birthday the entire month? Fuck yeah. The world is bleak, and I do this once a year so sure, why not. More like looking forward to burning all the leaves I had to carry over and somehow have to consume them before the 28th of February. I’m also looking forward to my booster jab. Yes, these are my life highlights now.
