Goodbye, 32

I’m one of those people that love their birthdays. But I also like celebrating it on my terms. Do I want to travel? Did that a couple times. Do I want to just sit by myself at home? I’ve done that, too. Why the extremes? I’m not sure myself, but I like it anyway.

Looking back on 32 — it was a lot more stable for me — just the way I like it. There’s always still going to be some drama, I had one too many health-related scares than I’d like to get rid of! But I also mellowed in other aspects in my life. The highs weren’t as high and the lows weren’t as low but the baseline was great and I’m so grateful.

I’ve enjoyed my self-partnered year more than I thought I would. Truly looked forward to me time, all the time. Sitting down and reading a book or knitting or stretching at yoga. I really truly (madly, deeply) enjoy my own company so much, it’s sort of pushed me to a more hermit lifestyle.

I’ve also given less fucks about what others think of me and that has been the biggest game changer. My need to please is still flickering at times, but there’s a growing side of me that just doesn’t, you know, can’t give a crap anymore and I’m hoping that this grows more and more each year. Because at the end of the day, as long as I’m cool with it, then why does anything else matter.

What does matter to me, though, is that you know how thankful I am for the love and support I’ve gotten this past year. Though I was alone for a lot of it, I was not lonely because of the constant conversation with family and friends. I have the best support system anyone could ask for.

So cheers to my Jesus year — the big 33. May I get reborn into the best version of me that I’ve been building up to all this time. Here’s to this or something better.