Goodbye, 33
Well that was one hell of a Jesus year. My thirty-third year was one for the books. It had everything. A global pandemic keeping me grounded (literally) for the majority of the year? Check. Loved ones back home with zero oversight and endless zoom calls to check in? Yes, please. Job insecurity with massive lay-offs everywhere, making me even more anxious than I already am? We’ve got that, too.
And still, it wasn’t all bad. In fact, I feel so incredibly grateful to come out of this year relatively unscathed compared to the rest of the world. Knock on wood. I moved into my own place — so incredibly adult of me. I learned to feed myself. I got my cholesterol in check. I am gainfully employed. I live in a country where COVID-19 is generally under control and life is as normal as it can be.
So really, there is so much to be thankful for. I learned that travel is a luxury, and not something I’m entitled to. That I can last at a job for more than four years and still find new things challenging every day. That I’ve got an amazing support system both here and far away, keeping me sane, knocking sense into me and making me realize that it’s ok that 33 years later, I’m still self-partnered.
That it’s ok to let some friendships fade away and it’s also ok to rekindle others. That I am so much stronger than I thought ever was. That I could oatmeal everyday and ditch KFC and not be depressed about it (most days). That I can swim laps in a pool and not lose my breath, or climb flights of stairs and not want to jump off it. That this could be it for me and I will be more than ok.
So as I enter my mid-thirties officially, I hope that I become even more grateful for the little things, and the big ones. Amazing public transportation. Hiking in nature every weekend. Knowing which grocery aisle contains the rice. Discovering new music that makes me want to dance. Having a space to call my own. Trying and failing to meditate. Family and friends that love me, just the way I am.
What happens after my Jesus year? God only knows. I just hope it is kind to me. Here’s to this or something better.
