Stalking Spurs

30ish Going on 13

No Need to Calm Down

No Need to Calm Down

Last year, I got indoctrinated into the world of football thanks to the World Cup, this year the Women’s World Cup just solidified my support. Apart from all the craziness of the wage gap and the inherent sexism against the amazing females playing this year, these ladies were rad.

For two weeks in July, I followed these super athletic ladies and was inspired to get off my ass and do something. Nothing on their levels but it sure as hell made me want to be a bit better, physically. And though this entry focused a lot of the USWNT (how could it not, they were darlings), the rest of the teams were A+

From the Lionesses, to the French team to the Norwegians and the Thais and Koreans, anytime I’m feeling lazy to get up, I just look to any of them and snap out of it. How could I even. Here are a couple of brunettes (and one blonde) on the USWNT that I can’t help on crushing on.

Alex Morgan

This one is a no-brainer, she’s just so damn pretty (and one hell of a striker, too). I kind of ship her and her husband (who apparently plays for LA Galaxy) because they’re always so cute. Also, she just looks amazing on and off the field. How she keeps her hair so neat on the field and so luscious off the field? I stan.


Christen Press

This lady looks adorable in yellow, seems to be really close to her dad and just looks badass all the time. Her ponytail on the field is so well kept, I don’t know what product they put in that because it’s always in place. I’m super amazed.


Mallory Pugh

This child — yes she is one (she’s 21 guys, I feel ancient) just has a really lovely vibe to her. Cool girl without being too cool for you and just someone you want to hang around. She also looks very cute with her boyfriend, who looks to be in baseball. I mean, why not, right? Also, the ponytail! I wish I had hair to look this neat!


Kelley O’Hara

I don’t know about you, but when there’s an alpaca involved, I’m in. Kelley just looks like she’s always having fun. Not even an injury could stop her from kicking it on her feed. I need all the positive vibes from her because she’s got loads.


Tobin Heath

Tobin is one year younger than me but I feel that year difference so much. Her speed and grace on the field — as I eat KFC and watch them play makes me wish I were a LOT more athletic than I am. She also looks like she’d be fun to party with and that’s always a good thing. Plus, she looks like she’ll be a kick-ass aunt.


Rose Lavelle

She may look tiny but she packs the punch. Rose’s back to back goals and just how fierce she is on the field makes me want her to be with me when I’m in a dark alley somewhere because she’ll beat them up. And yeah, she’s a Potterhead too, so yes to all.


Carli Lloyd

Carli has is probably the ‘oldest’ person in the team but also just one of the legends. Having gone through a previous World Cup, she’s been around the block and it shows — her confidence exudes her and I just want her to show me her ways. Her guns are no joke.


Alie Krieger

I first learned of Ali because I follow her brother on Instagram (long story but it was through Gus Kenworthy). Anyway, Ali is with Ashlyn Harris who’s also on the team and is amazing at social media and so they’re such a fun couple to follow.


Megan Rapinoe

Last but not the least, the only non-brunette on the list, Megan obviously needs no introduction. I like how she speaks up and uses the spotlight she’s in to shine a light on causes that matter. It also doesn’t hurt that she was a delight as a guest on Pod Save America. I love when fandoms collide.


Until the next World Cup, USA. For once, I’m rooting for you guys. I usually love an underdog story, and in a way, though champions, there’s a long way to go to equality. Onward, we go.

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