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30ish Going on 13

Becoming Me

Becoming Me

It’s the first week of the year and because I’m always belated to all things, I started doing a lot of looking back on the year that was and looking forward to the year that will be. I’m a sucker for the new year no matter how arbitrary the change really is and thanks to Chinggay (who gave me such a lovely Practical Magic reading to start my month) who recommended Susannah Conway’s Unravel Your Year, it was a pretty intense but interesting way to set intentions for the year ahead.

I’ve had my go at new years resolutions in the past years and I still always kind of just want to achieve something in the year ahead, but I’ve never gotten around to really sticking by them or at least trying. I do always write myself a letter at the end of the year future dated to the next year — and reading back on that at the end of the year always makes me smile and laugh at how I wanted things to turn out but also how differently it did or how things actually worked out.

For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end.
Becoming by Michelle Obama

And so as I read Michelle Obama’s book, Becoming (belatedly of course), I can’t help but be inspired by her. I’m only 40% through the book, but I can tell, it’s going to be a great catalyst, not necessarily for life-changing action but at least for a lot of introspection — alongside this Susannah Conway exercise of unraveling my year and finding a word for my year.

For all of my bravado of documenting my life on this blog and on my journals that I’ve maintained for years, rarely do I ever look back on them to read (I cringe) or actually try to glean insight or learning from it. And so this year, I hope that as I become the 2019 version of myself, I learn more about myself in ways I still haven’t discovered.

I hope that I listen to my thoughts but also to my feelings. That I always choose to be kind to myself and to others. That I’m not afraid to shine when I want to. And that I always remember to breathe — because truly, I do forget (I literally had a condition called psychogenic dyspnea, where I think I’m not breathing, but I am. It’s al in my head).

Cheers to 2019. May this be the year we start/continue to become our truest selves.

No Chill

No Chill

Currently: December 2018

Currently: December 2018